Has some interesting things here and there, for upcoming scenes I'm hoping for the Eyeball headmaster to include some interesting motives to give some reactions to the characters.
I am also hoping you include some element of unity for the characters such as a goal to escape, like the "Darkness" in their surroundings being some sort of dangerous disease that mentally burdens their mind and energy, and give it some set date like 30 days... "Participants, you are free to live in peace and harmony and not kill anyone, but I would like to inform you this whole establishment...you've noticed didn't you?
"Noticed what?"
"Lack of windows?"
"No no, the overwhelming feeling of fatigue, the lack of light, the Darkness"
"Cut to the chase, creepy eyed freak!"
"....."
"Then I'll tell you, the Darkness will steadily eat away your minds, and it will leave you no energy to think or feel anymore, it will eat away your past memories"
"T-that's....the same as killing us!"
"On the contrary, at least you'll live right?"
MC: "This has gotten...very worrying...my head feels like it's in a rush...uh...get it together!"
MC: "We need to work together to escape this place, if we don't....The Darkness will be what kills us instead!"
Everyone's faced twitch to her words in realization, the least concerned ones showed no reaction as always, will this be enough to get them moving...
"Oh another thing, [reveals token]"
A shiny object is revealed.
MC: "What's this"
"This will be the next motive, those who can find 10 of these tokens can escape this place without killing anyone, however..."
MC: "However, what?"
"....I won't say it for now, but it will be unfavorable for the others if the traitor does get their hands on the 10 tokens"
MC: ....
--------------------------------------
Anyways in regarding to the rules well the rules haven't been revealed yet so I don't really know what the specifics are for this danganronpa game but what we do know is.
1. There will be a trial held if someone is killed.
2. Everyone needs to oust the killer or else mostly everyone dies.
3. If the killer wins, they can get 1 or 2 people with themselves. (3 traitors)
That's pretty much what's established for now.
For the MC's personality I'm quite confused, I think the MC is a very humble person, since they approach everything quite professionally if required, and they are quite emotionally expressive when being conversed with but there's one thing that bothers me there is a 180 degree line she said that talks about others being "now I need be here 2 more hours with these peasants".... the other lines are fine though.
The other characters are just starting so I have nothing much to say about them but I hope you do well in introducing them!
I can't say much about the upcoming chapter (obviously), but let's say that the things in there obviously will get more explained. And within the MC, she was actually becoming more annoyed and tired (she says that during one of the character's introduction) as things were coming, especially during the group "argument".
And for the DRIS part in your rating: I only used it as an example, since it was made in renpy, and it was more for the controls thing than the story or anything.
DRIS part? Sorry I don't know what that is, but what I can understand from what you said due to the agitation from the other characters and the atmosphere the MC can get extremely annoyed and call people "peasants" alright I guess.
Edit: Nevermind I remember I talked about DRIS, I remember now, I see it's a good template for controls after all
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Has some interesting things here and there, for upcoming scenes I'm hoping for the Eyeball headmaster to include some interesting motives to give some reactions to the characters.
I am also hoping you include some element of unity for the characters such as a goal to escape, like the "Darkness" in their surroundings being some sort of dangerous disease that mentally burdens their mind and energy, and give it some set date like 30 days...
"Participants, you are free to live in peace and harmony and not kill anyone, but I would like to inform you this whole establishment...you've noticed didn't you?
"Noticed what?"
"Lack of windows?"
"No no, the overwhelming feeling of fatigue, the lack of light, the Darkness"
"Cut to the chase, creepy eyed freak!"
"....."
"Then I'll tell you, the Darkness will steadily eat away your minds, and it will leave you no energy to think or feel anymore, it will eat away your past memories"
"T-that's....the same as killing us!"
"On the contrary, at least you'll live right?"
MC: "This has gotten...very worrying...my head feels like it's in a rush...uh...get it together!"
MC: "We need to work together to escape this place, if we don't....The Darkness will be what kills us instead!"
Everyone's faced twitch to her words in realization, the least concerned ones showed no reaction as always, will this be enough to get them moving...
"Oh another thing, [reveals token]"
A shiny object is revealed.
MC: "What's this"
"This will be the next motive, those who can find 10 of these tokens can escape this place without killing anyone, however..."
MC: "However, what?"
"....I won't say it for now, but it will be unfavorable for the others if the traitor does get their hands on the 10 tokens"
MC: ....
--------------------------------------
Anyways in regarding to the rules well the rules haven't been revealed yet so I don't really know what the specifics are for this danganronpa game but what we do know is.
1. There will be a trial held if someone is killed.
2. Everyone needs to oust the killer or else mostly everyone dies.
3. If the killer wins, they can get 1 or 2 people with themselves. (3 traitors)
That's pretty much what's established for now.
For the MC's personality I'm quite confused, I think the MC is a very humble person, since they approach everything quite professionally if required, and they are quite emotionally expressive when being conversed with but there's one thing that bothers me there is a 180 degree line she said that talks about others being "now I need be here 2 more hours with these peasants".... the other lines are fine though.
The other characters are just starting so I have nothing much to say about them but I hope you do well in introducing them!
I can't say much about the upcoming chapter (obviously), but let's say that the things in there obviously will get more explained. And within the MC, she was actually becoming more annoyed and tired (she says that during one of the character's introduction) as things were coming, especially during the group "argument".
And for the DRIS part in your rating: I only used it as an example, since it was made in renpy, and it was more for the controls thing than the story or anything.
DRIS part? Sorry I don't know what that is, but what I can understand from what you said due to the agitation from the other characters and the atmosphere the MC can get extremely annoyed and call people "peasants" alright I guess.
Edit: Nevermind I remember I talked about DRIS, I remember now, I see it's a good template for controls after all
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90/100 VERY GOOD
JDHJSDFJHKDFDFHGH OMG 😩